Have you ever wondered why you can’t find a job that makes you happy?

Or a partner who doesn’t end up being a dill?

Why there’s never enough money?  Or why, when everything seems to be going well in your life does it all fall apart?

Like most of us, these thoughts only pop up when you are going through the ringer again, then you manage to move through the pain and move on.  But what does that achieve? Usually all it does it pull you out of on cycle right into another one just the same.

In order to change these patterns of self-destruction or negativity we must follow a simple (not necessarily easy) 3 step process if we are to break free and find a better, happier life:

• Step 1 –  Spend some time looking at your life so far, identifying patterns in behaviour and choices, for instance, are you attracted to  a certain type of partner? Why do you choose that particular type? How do you organise your money?  Does your job align with your true inner spark? Often this step is really difficult as we are far too close to get a real perspective on what is truly happening in our life. It is often a good idea to ask one or two trusted friends or relatives to help you out. You will need to be aware that if these people are 100% honest, you may hear some things about yourself that upset you. This is actually a good thing, because only in times of unrest or turmoil are we able to grow, develop and become a better version of ourselves.

• Step 2 – Once you have identified the patterns which have been holding you back, its time to work out why you accept these patterns as normal. This all stems from what you saw, heard, understood and lived as a young child up to around 6 years old. For instance, if your parents constantly argued, then it becomes your belief that its normal to be in a rocky or abusive relationship, If money was an issue, you will have developed certain thoughts around money, the same for alcohol, and everything else. Spend some time , with a sibling if you need to, remembering as much about your very early years as you can.

• Step 3 – Dissecting and rebuilding. Once you have this information in front of you and you can link things together, it then becomes a very easy process to re-train yourself in different ways of doing or approaching everything in your life that was previously a problem. With this enlightened ability to understand yourself, life will once again become the joyful adventure it’s supposed to be.

Jayne Saunders R.N.

M.T.Medical