Everything begins and ends in your mind. What you give your energy and power to, will have energy and power over you.
My experience with this technique came after my very first time with publicity. It was an amazing experience getting media and being on the Oprah show in 2011, but it was also hard to see how it was edited and turned into something else. Then I repeated it on a even bigger scale recently as a Bride on Channel 9’s reality TV Program Married at First Sight 2018 Season 5.
I would get on the internet and social media and see all the comments.
Sometimes I was literally bedridden over what people thought about me. It was consuming and took over my life. It was debilitating. I remember just feeling defeated like I needed to prove something to people and defend myself and I was far from able to do that. Around this time, I read a book by Byron Katie. She talks about three people’s businesses in life:
There’s your business. There’s everyone else’s business and then, there’s the universe’s business.
Your business is the thoughts you can control. This is basically your thoughts, beliefs and your actions; and that’s it literally. And then there’s everyone else’s business (including your partner, your family, even your children). Then there’s the universe’s business (weather, birth, death) which is of course out of your control.
Those are the three types. Anytime you’re out of your business, you are living a life of chaos and craziness. You’re living for other people lives and not for yourself. What other people think of you is really none of your business.
When you really break it down into these three types, it becomes so clear whose business are you in. It unravels the ones whose lives you’re living. Stop and ask yourself: Whose business are you in? You lose the connection with your own source and your own inner being because you’re not connected to yourself to find your identity outside situations and people.
What other people think of you has nothing to do with you. I’ve had so many situations in my life where I’ll talk about my mum or a friend or someone I love and start by saying “she said this and that” and projecting my business onto them! And this gets me out of alignment and in a negative space.
When I talk like this, if I’m in a bad mood, it’s a reflection on me and not on my mum or my friend. This literally has nothing to do with my mum and everything to do with me and where I’m at in life or on that day in particular.
If someone is gossiping about you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, where they’re at with life and where they are in alignment with themselves.
One of the purposes tied to our being here on earth is how to love unconditionally. I don’t need you to change who you are for me to love you, I don’t need you to be different or change anything about you. You don’t love your children based on what they do or what they don’t. Can you apply that to others? That’s the beauty and practice of life. That’s freedom.
And regardless of your spirituality, it never feels good to not love. When you don’t show love, you’ll definitely be casting blame on others. It doesn’t feel good in your soul and your spirit to cast judgement and you know it. When you’re jealous, you clearly feel jealousy instead of love. It always feels good to love and to be loved. That is the work that I’m personally trying to pass on.
When you implement minding your own business, you will find yourself more aligned in love. It’s simply a stop to obsessing over other people’s lives and caring too much about what other people think. This is giving all your power and energy away. It’s wasted energy.
